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Have you ever had an argument with a friend or loved one where you couldn't see the other's point of view? I certainly have. The idea for this piece came to me this week as I was taking part in a dialogue about what constitutes the common good. The dialogue was between people who supported the Iraq War and others who believe that preemptive war is an immoral use of power. Both parties try to live good lives and both believe that they a license on truth. I can remember at a recent dinner party how I grew some personal wisdom on this issue: Our country was about to invade Iraq and people at the table were angry at the President and were expressing their anger in various ways including jokes. I attempted 'heroically' to point out to my friends that the anger they were expressing blinded them to find effective creative responses to the policy. In fact I stated---their anger made them like the people they were angry at. I even quoted wise people like Margaret Wheatley that "it is never effective to come from a place of anger." My friends retorted that I was wrong, that anger was a positive way for people to become motivated to create change and that I must be feeling powerless to say something like that. I became defensive at their resistance to my 'brilliance' and ended up alienating myself from some good friends. I left with a strong sense of self-righteousness and frustration at my inability to be clearer with this important truth. After personal reflection I (re) learned some important lessons from this experience: I was projecting my deep anger on to others at the table and that the only anger at the dinner table that I had any control over was my own. Teaching others a lesson that you have not learned yourself is very difficult. My deep anger came from life experiences that I had not fully processed in my inner work. So what could I have done differently to have made a more creative effective response to what I was feeling/experiencing? I could have expressed how much anger that I was feeling on this subject and made a genuine inquiry as to how others were dealing with their anger. I could then have inquired as to what ideas people had for making creative responses or I could have personally become involved in an action that I considered to be a creative response. This would have allowed me to demonstrate my convictions and help me to shape my reality. Together we might have found a common truth and an agreement to work for the common good. And finally I can also try and be conscious when I see this polarization begin to take place whether directed at myself or others so that I may use my new found wisdom as a way to build true consensus around the common good instead of allowing myself to become just part of the problem. THE FOLLOWING IS ADDITIONAL WISDOM FROM SOME MYSTICS ON THE SUBJECT OF TRUTH‹try meditating on these sayings. From Lao Tzu's Tao Te Ching The Tao doesn't take sides; it gives birth to both good and evil. The Master doesn't take sides; she welcomes both saints and sinners. The Tao is like a bellows: it is empty yet infinitely capable. The more you use it, the more it produces; the more you talk of it, the less you understand. Hold on to the center. Mahatma Gandhi (All Men are Brothers) I would say with those who say "God is Love," God is Love. But deep down in me I used to say that through God may be Love, God is Truth above all. If it is possible for the human tongue to give the fullest description of God, I have come to the conclusion that God is Truth. Two years ago I went a step further and said that Truth is God. You will see the fine distinction between the two statements, "God is Truth" and "Truth is God." I came to that conclusion after a continuous and relentless search after truth which began fifty years ago. AND Truth resides in every human heart, and one has to search for it there, and to be guided by truth as one sees it. But no one has a right to coerce others to act according to his own view of truth. Rabbi Larry Kushner (The Book of Words) Reality may be read through an infinity of lenses. Each refraction carries its own unique bias. Children speak of true or false; adults know better. This not to say that we have given up on truth, only that we now understand how elusive it is. Nor is it to suggest that truth is relative. Indeed we now suspect there is an absolute truth and that it is mysteriously connected to what some people call "God." God is not truth but standing in god"s presence may be. How matters appear to God, that is true. Matthew 7:24-25/Luke 6:47-48 "everyone who listens to these words of mine and acts on them will be like a sensible man who build his house on rock. Rain came down, floods rose, gales blew and hurled themselves against that house, and it did not fall: It was founded on rock." April 25, 2004 |
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